Ummm...what did you just say??

So obviously when we went home over the holidays, we started to tell people that Hubbie is being deployed. While most people responded in what I consider to be an appropriate matter, I just have to say that some peoples' responses floored me...and not in a good way!! So while I may have been shocked to hear them, I can now only laugh. I am finding that laughter can be the best medicine, so we are trying to find the humor in this whole mess. So if you are ever faced with someone who is telling you a loved one is being deployed, let this be your guide to what you should say. Or more importantly, what NOT to say!

Response #1: "Wow, that is great! You must be so proud!"

Ok. First off, I am always proud of my Hubbie. He has done a lot of things that deserve me being proud. While I may be proud of him because he is serving his country, that is pretty much where it ends.

As far as it being termed "great"....yeah, I just don't even know what to say to that! Shipping a loved one to a war zone certainly doesn't seem great to me! And I guess if you think it is so "great" you should probably sign yourself up to go. PS: I hope you know that this is being written with quite a bit or sarcasm ;)

Response #2: "He's only going for six months? That is nothing!"

I completely understand that the fact his deployment is only 6 months is somewhat of a "military blessing" if you will. I know that people can be deployed for a year and a half sometimes. However, any amount of time away from loved ones is too long, don't you think? I mean I consider my Hubbie to be my total BFF. He is my soul mate and I want to be near him...maybe a few hours alone here and there are nice, but that's it. When he goes away for work stuff, he is only gone a week and I miss him terribly. I don't sleep well. I don't even like to sleep in the bed when he isn't here.

And then let's take in to account that fact that their are children involved. My son thinks 20 minutes is an unbearable amount of time, so 6 months must seem like a life time. Thankfully my Hubbie will not miss the holiday season with us, but he will miss his son's birthday, which I am sure will break his heart. And being a "single parent" when you have 2 toddlers is not an easy task. On top of that I will be running the household, doing all the house work and chores, cooking, laundry and finances solo. I would gladly allow anyone who thinks that 6 months of doing all this is "no big deal" to come and take care of my kids and run the house for me. Please, feel free. I'd be glad to have you.

And let's not forget the man involved here. I am pretty sure that 6 months in a strange foreign country where people are blowing each other up isn't exactly his idea of a vacation. He also just started operating solo this fall. With only 5 months under his belt, he is being taken away from spine surgery and will be gone from it for 6 months. And when he gets back, he will be expected to just "jump" right back in to it. Can we say STRESSFUL!! I am pretty sure that spine surgery is NOT like riding a bike! And all of this in addition to being separated from his family, friends and modern conveniences.

So am I happy it's only 6 months....you bet. Do I feel for those whose loved ones are deployed for even longer amounts of time....absolutely. But do I think that it was an appropriate comment to make...NO! So anyone who thinks that 6 months isn't that much time, needs a reality check. And then they need to fly out here to Hell Paso and work as my maid, nanny, personal assistant and "father figure."

So those were the two responses that Hubbie and I really didn't even know what to say to. We did get a lot of, "Oh my gods," "that's awful," etc. And even better, "what can I do to help," "we are here for you," and "we are praying for you." The outpouring of prayers and support we have gotten this far (and he isn't even gone yet!) has been humbling. And it will be what gets us through this. So whether you support the war or don't, back the military or not, you need to put your own feelings aside and be there for these "families in waiting." Because whether they supported the decision for their loved one to sign up or not, it is extremely trying on those who are left behind. It puts a strain on everyone involved and their relationships. And that is never much fun.

So if you ever find yourself in this situation, remember to leave your personal feeling about the war and US military out of it. Be a friend. Offer your support to those facing this...it will mean more to them than you will ever know.