Empathy...or maybe sympathy...I Never know!

I dropped the kids at school on Friday and stayed for their Shabbat celebration that takes place each Friday morning. I walked into the gym and noticed a banner on the table up front thanking a military service person. I thought maybe someone's parent was coming home and that they were having him come today and welcome him back. Perfect. That is what I needed to see. I wanted to see someone coming home to their family so that maybe I could know that it will be our turn to experience the joy of having someone return home. I figured that it would maybe give me some hope.

Unfortunately, it was quite the opposite. The father of kids at the school was being deployed for a year. They found out just a few weeks earlier. I started to think that mayeb I could just walk out, because I knew that I was not going to be able to compose myself. But I also felt bad walking out on this familiy's moment where they were asking for love and support. Because I knew that I would soon be in those shoes and would want all the love and support we could get.

So things went on as they normaly do. Then they asked the father to come forward and they said a blessing over him. And I cried, not even able to mout the words on the sheet. And then his son's class sang "This Land is Your Land." More tears. And I felt awful about it.

I felt that I should not be crying because this was this family's experience and who was I to be sad over it. I know that it may have had to do with the fact that I was witnessing what we would be going through in a month, but still. So I asked myself why am I crying? And what I realized is that I was looking at his wife, who was also in tears and felt this emapthy for her. Usually you can feel sympathy for someone when they are hurting, although you may not have experienced what they are going through. But this was different. It was empathizing with her and knowing what she must be feeling, what she must be worried about and how scared and upset she must be. I realized that even though we live in a military town, there are a lot of people who may never experience a loved one being deployed. Hubbie hasn't left yet, but I know that the emotions we have gone through thus far are difficult and I knew that she was going through them too.

I find myself praying really hard for this family, even though we don't personally know them. I hope that she has a wonderful support system to help her and friends she can turn to. I have been so blessed in that respect and know that it will be what gets us through this mess.

So for those of you who have faced deployment or will be in the future, you may understand what I mean about emapthy. It is just one of those experiences that you cannot possibly understand until you have been through it. Please continue to pray for all our service men and women and for those who are left in waiting. Because no matter how you slice it, no matter if you are the one overseas or the one back here in the US, it is never easy to be apart from those you love.