I dropped the kids at school on Friday and stayed for their Shabbat celebration that takes place each Friday morning. I walked into the gym and noticed a banner on the table up front thanking a military service person. I thought maybe someone's parent was coming home and that they were having him come today and welcome him back. Perfect. That is what I needed to see. I wanted to see someone coming home to their family so that maybe I could know that it will be our turn to experience the joy of having someone return home. I figured that it would maybe give me some hope.
Unfortunately, it was quite the opposite. The father of kids at the school was being deployed for a year. They found out just a few weeks earlier. I started to think that mayeb I could just walk out, because I knew that I was not going to be able to compose myself. But I also felt bad walking out on this familiy's moment where they were asking for love and support. Because I knew that I would soon be in those shoes and would want all the love and support we could get.
So things went on as they normaly do. Then they asked the father to come forward and they said a blessing over him. And I cried, not even able to mout the words on the sheet. And then his son's class sang "This Land is Your Land." More tears. And I felt awful about it.
I felt that I should not be crying because this was this family's experience and who was I to be sad over it. I know that it may have had to do with the fact that I was witnessing what we would be going through in a month, but still. So I asked myself why am I crying? And what I realized is that I was looking at his wife, who was also in tears and felt this emapthy for her. Usually you can feel sympathy for someone when they are hurting, although you may not have experienced what they are going through. But this was different. It was empathizing with her and knowing what she must be feeling, what she must be worried about and how scared and upset she must be. I realized that even though we live in a military town, there are a lot of people who may never experience a loved one being deployed. Hubbie hasn't left yet, but I know that the emotions we have gone through thus far are difficult and I knew that she was going through them too.
I find myself praying really hard for this family, even though we don't personally know them. I hope that she has a wonderful support system to help her and friends she can turn to. I have been so blessed in that respect and know that it will be what gets us through this mess.
So for those of you who have faced deployment or will be in the future, you may understand what I mean about emapthy. It is just one of those experiences that you cannot possibly understand until you have been through it. Please continue to pray for all our service men and women and for those who are left in waiting. Because no matter how you slice it, no matter if you are the one overseas or the one back here in the US, it is never easy to be apart from those you love.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A New Perspective on Valentine's Day :)
This was written 2 years ago (2008)...Enjoy!
So, Valentine's Day is quickly becoming one of my favorite holidays. And for many who know me, this seems pretty strange. You see, I am not a really lovey-dovey kind of gal and do not get very sentimental about things. I think I am the only girl who didn't cry at the end of Titantic ;) I am not a gushy romantic at all. But still, Valentine's day is special to me.
I can remember my college years and how every year around Valentine's Day, all the single girls would be all sad and we would have our anti-Valentine's Day parties (Miss Lauren! ;) And if you did have a significant other, there was such a big deal about where you would go, what you would do and of course what you would get each other. And being on both ends, I can honestly say I didn't enjoy any of it. And maybe that is why people always have negative things to say about it:
"You shouldn't need a special day to tell some one you love them"
"It's just a holiday created by greeting card companies and candy stores."
And while I can't say I disagree, I have started to look at this holiday in a new light and encourage others to do the same. Just like every year when Christmas roles around, we all to often forget the real meaning and just look forward to the presents and good food and festivities. And maybe the reason so many people are down on Valentine's day is because they are looking at it all worng.
After Alyssa was born, I had a really hard time. I was feeling really isolated and lonely. I found myself "just getting by" during the holidays. After the New Year I decided to get a hold of my life and get myself back on track and this meant really looking at the things that were important. With Valentine's Day approaching, I thought a lot about the people that I loved. More than just my husband and my kids, but all my family and friends who support me and love me unconditionally, even when things aretough. It made me take the opportunity to use Valentine's Day to appreciate all those who I love in my life and to thank them for loving me.
And yes, you shouldn't need a speical day to tell someone you love them, but in today's world with the crazy hours people put in at their jobs, the hustle and bustle of family life and the lack of face to face time with people because of our dependence on texting, emailing and other ways of keeping in touch with technology, I think Valentine's day gives us a perfect reason to reach out to those special people in our lives and to let them know how much we appreciate them and care about them.
So now I look forward to the holiday. I like to write personal notes, have the kids make homemade Valentine's, bake cupcakes and make truffles to share with others as a small way of showing how much I care about the special people in my life. And while that might be a lot to some, then just use this day as a time to make a phone call to a friend you haven't talked to in a while, send a card for no reason to someone having a rough time or to just have a night in with your significant other and just talk, I mean really talk to each other. Use this Valentine's Day to reconnect. To show how grateful, thankful and down right blessed you are to be loved. Life is a gift and sharing it with others is precious.
-"The luckiest man alive, is the one who has found love."
Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends and family. Your love is one of the things I value most in my life and I want to let you all know that I truly love and care about each of you! Thank you to each of you!
So, Valentine's Day is quickly becoming one of my favorite holidays. And for many who know me, this seems pretty strange. You see, I am not a really lovey-dovey kind of gal and do not get very sentimental about things. I think I am the only girl who didn't cry at the end of Titantic ;) I am not a gushy romantic at all. But still, Valentine's day is special to me.
I can remember my college years and how every year around Valentine's Day, all the single girls would be all sad and we would have our anti-Valentine's Day parties (Miss Lauren! ;) And if you did have a significant other, there was such a big deal about where you would go, what you would do and of course what you would get each other. And being on both ends, I can honestly say I didn't enjoy any of it. And maybe that is why people always have negative things to say about it:
"You shouldn't need a special day to tell some one you love them"
"It's just a holiday created by greeting card companies and candy stores."
And while I can't say I disagree, I have started to look at this holiday in a new light and encourage others to do the same. Just like every year when Christmas roles around, we all to often forget the real meaning and just look forward to the presents and good food and festivities. And maybe the reason so many people are down on Valentine's day is because they are looking at it all worng.
After Alyssa was born, I had a really hard time. I was feeling really isolated and lonely. I found myself "just getting by" during the holidays. After the New Year I decided to get a hold of my life and get myself back on track and this meant really looking at the things that were important. With Valentine's Day approaching, I thought a lot about the people that I loved. More than just my husband and my kids, but all my family and friends who support me and love me unconditionally, even when things aretough. It made me take the opportunity to use Valentine's Day to appreciate all those who I love in my life and to thank them for loving me.
And yes, you shouldn't need a speical day to tell someone you love them, but in today's world with the crazy hours people put in at their jobs, the hustle and bustle of family life and the lack of face to face time with people because of our dependence on texting, emailing and other ways of keeping in touch with technology, I think Valentine's day gives us a perfect reason to reach out to those special people in our lives and to let them know how much we appreciate them and care about them.
So now I look forward to the holiday. I like to write personal notes, have the kids make homemade Valentine's, bake cupcakes and make truffles to share with others as a small way of showing how much I care about the special people in my life. And while that might be a lot to some, then just use this day as a time to make a phone call to a friend you haven't talked to in a while, send a card for no reason to someone having a rough time or to just have a night in with your significant other and just talk, I mean really talk to each other. Use this Valentine's Day to reconnect. To show how grateful, thankful and down right blessed you are to be loved. Life is a gift and sharing it with others is precious.
-"The luckiest man alive, is the one who has found love."
Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends and family. Your love is one of the things I value most in my life and I want to let you all know that I truly love and care about each of you! Thank you to each of you!
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